Spanky's Place

Tonight's changeover from analog to digital television marks the end of an age.

This age is gone, and with it our worries of being continually harassed with a barrage of advertisements, news stories, placards, flyers, and all manner of irritants foisted upon us by an army of well-meaning idiots.

I remember many years ago when it all began with a minor news story about digital television. That moment marked the beginning of an ocean of torment pounding against the rocks of our intellect, slowly eroding our will to think for ourselves. I remember screaming vainly into the night earlier this year when I heard that our newly elected president had ordered that the date of changeover be pushed back to June. The anguish I felt when I realized I would be forced to endure another five months of torture cannot be measured.

Thankfully, it all comes to an end tonight. Never again will I, nor any other, be forced to hear yet another damnable story about how the digital changeover is coming, and what we need to do to prepare for it. Never again will I have to endure a PSA telling me how to get a coupon from the government giving me a discount on the purchase of a digital-to-analog converter. Never again will I have my soul crushed upon learning that some percentage of Americans are too fucking stupid to realize that this is the 21st century, and it is time to replace the 20 year old rabbit ear TV with something a bit more modern.

Free at last, free at last!